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Home > Where There is Love  > Beyond Me: Making New Year's Resolutions Count
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Beyond Me: Making New Year’s Resolutions Count
by Birdie Courtright Jan 2008
Reaching beyond ourselves can have hidden benefits that very often satisfy something within us that we didn’t know we needed.

 
 Are you tired of making New Year’s resolutions that you wind up ditching by spring? What if your resolutions for this year focus on helping someone other than yourself? What kind of change might that bring about in your own life?

We asked six people from different walks of life to come up with just such a resolution for the New Year and explain what rewards might surface from sticking it out. Here’s what they had to say.

Susan, single mother of two: I stay very busy between my children and my job. My mother died three years ago, and I miss having the friendship of someone older and wiser than me. I have an elderly neighbor down the street whom I wave at as I drive by. I would like to get to know her better. My resolution will be to adopt my neighbor and try to build a relationship. My children are old enough to help with her yard, and I could invite her to have breakfast with us on a Saturday morning. Maybe by getting to know her and helping out with a few things that I know are difficult for someone her age, we’ll all benefit.

Don and Laura, retired: We never had any children of our own. When we were younger, we filled the void of being a childless couple by focusing on our careers. When we retired, we traveled extensively, and we have all the creature comforts we could ever want; but we miss having children and grandchildren. There is a young family in our church that has five children and you can tell that they struggle from paycheck to paycheck. We discussed it, and we think that maybe by helping them we might fill that void that’s always been there in our own lives. We’re going to start with buying new winter coats for the children and go from there.

Jason, financial analyst: It seems like I work 24/7. I’m single, so I can do that right now; but at the end of the day, I wonder if helping other people manage their money is really what I want to do with my life. It seems like there should be more to life than getting up and punching a time clock. I’m going to volunteer my time on the weekends to adopt an at-risk kid who needs a mentor. I don’t know what I’ll gain from it — perhaps some balance in my own life.

Alexandra, married mother of three: I home-school my children, so it’s very easy to just focus on the needs of my own family. That keeps me busy. But after giving some thought to this, I realized that it would be a great opportunity to teach my children the importance of helping others. We’re going to start a clothing closet through our home school association so that as kids outgrow their clothes they can donate them and also shop for new clothes (free, of course). Families that home-school are usually on a tight budget, so sharing through the clothing closet can help all of us and teach our children the importance of giving at the same time.

Chelsea, high school student: There is a 12-year old girl who lives on my street. Her parents work a lot, and she is left by herself most of the time. I know how peer pressure works at that age, and in junior high it can be really tough because you aren’t sure where you fit in. Before you know it, you’re in a bad situation with the wrong friends. I think I’ll try to spend time with her. That way, she can have at least one person who will be a good influence. I’ve always wanted a sister, so I’ll adopt one.

Charles, account executive: One of the guys in my office recently went through a divorce. Since then, he’s been very withdrawn. He had to move out of the house, and he misses his kids a lot. I think he may have started drinking at night. I know his family meant the world to him, and his wife ran off with one of his friends; so it was pretty nasty. I’m going to make it a point to spend time outside of the office with him. I went through a divorce several years ago, and I remember how painful it was. After some coaxing, I finally joined a men’s group at my church, and it helped me a lot. Maybe it’s my turn to do the same for someone else.

Reaching beyond ourselves can have hidden benefits that very often satisfy something within us that we didn’t know we needed. You may be the missing link that someone else needs, but they may be your missing link as well. Jesus said that there is no greater love than laying down ours lives for our friends. This year, resolve to make a friend; the life you change could be your own.


 
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