Joni Eareckson Tada Used with permission of Joni and Friends

diving accident at Maryland Beach in 1967 broke Joni Eareckson’s neck, and the young athletic girl became a quadriplegic. In the hospital, a frightened, paralyzed 17-year old, she wondered if God had abandoned her and wondered why he allows suffering if he loves us.

Later, in her memoir, “The God I Love: A Lifetime of Walking with Jesus” (Zondervan, 2003), she wrote that she learned the “harder path is the richer one” and we can definitely trust God. She says that true wisdom lies not in figuring out why God allows tragedies to happen but, rather, in trusting God when we can’t figure things out.

The God that Joni knows and loves brings peace, joy and fulfillment to her life. She knows that no matter what circumstances and pain life brings our way and no matter how much things seem to spiral beyond control, God is in control and always faithful.

She learned how to paint with a brush held between her teeth, and her high-detail fine art paintings and prints are sought after. She founded Joni and Friends, an organization helping disabled people around the world and sharing the message of Christ with them.

Billy Graham called Joni “one of the most incredible women I have ever known.” She has greatly influenced many people’s lives through her books and paintings, her daily inspirational radio broadcast and now her television series on suffering.

I recently had the privilege of asking Joni about her relationship with God, her marriage, friends, suffering, and other important aspects of her life.

Q: People often view you as a strong individual. I know you realize your strength is in Christ. Do you think it is important for Christians to reveal times when they are not feeling strong, are feeling down or vulnerable, and is it important for Christians to ask others for help?

Joni: I'm not a very strong person at all! For instance, not long ago I was in a crowded restroom during a break at a Christian conference. One well-dressed woman at the sink said, “Joni, you always look so happy in your wheelchair. I wish I had your strength. How do you do it?”

I knew the break would soon be over. How could I sum up in a soundbite what has taken three decades of quadriplegia to learn? “I don’t do it,” I said. That raised eyebrows. “In fact, may I tell you honestly how I woke up this morning?” I breathed deeply.

“This is an average day. After Ken leaves for work at 6 a.m., I’m alone until I hear the front door open at 7 a.m. It’s a friend coming to get me up. While I hear her make coffee, I usually pray, ‘Oh Lord, my friend is about to give me a bath, get me dressed, sit me up in my chair, brush my hair and teeth, and send me out the door. I don’t have strength to face this routine one more time. I have no resources. I don’t have a smile to take into the day, but you do. May I borrow yours? I urgently need you, God. I require you desperately.’”

The women in the restroom were listening. I could tell that they were carrying burdens, too. They were weary. One woman asked, “So, what happens when your friend comes through the bedroom door?”

“I turn my head on the pillow and give her a smile sent straight from heaven. It’s not mine; it’s God’s. Whatever joy you see today —” I said as I gestured to my paralyzed legs, “ — was hard won this morning.” The restroom was silent. “And ladies, it’s the only way to live. It’s the Christian way to live.”

The break was over and it was time to move on. Most of the women would go home that evening to broken garbage disposals, indifferent husbands, swollen ankles and sore feet. God willing, they will remember to go desperately and urgently to the Lord for grace. I have learned — as I hope these women learn — that the weaker we are, the harder we must lean on God. When we are weak, he is strong. It’s something I’ve learned in this chair — and my chair is the best audio-visual aid to remind other weak people to “boast in their affliction,” as well.

Joni Eareckson Tada Used with permission of Joni and Friends

One more thing about weakness. It forces you — it certainly forces me — to ask for help. And that’s not a bad thing. To ask for help is to be vulnerable and transparent; it means you have a “weakness” and you’re not ashamed to admit it. Actually, it’s the attitude God wants us to have! James 4:6 says that God resists the proud, but he gives grace to the humble. And there’s nothing more humiliating than having to ask someone else to blow your nose or empty your leg bag, as I often have to do.

Q: What was the best advice you received while growing up, and who shared it with you?

Joni: My dad and mom gave me lots of good counsel and advice, but it wasn’t until after my diving accident that any of it sank in. I think the best advice I ever received was from my parents who said, “Don’t take life all at once; take life one day at a time.” That really came in handy when I was injured and doctors told me I would remain a quadriplegic.

At first it didn’t compute; the terrifying reality of hands and legs that don’t work bounced off my brain. When reality finally hit me, I felt defeated by depression. The future seemed impossible. Would I end up in a nursing home? Would I ever be able to hold down a job? How would I survive? But slowly, I put into practice what my mom and dad were constantly hinting at by my bedside: to take life one day at a time in bite-sized chunks.

Slowly, I found solutions. I went back to college, began painting and writing, and learned how to drive a van with a joystick clamped to my arm. And now, after almost 40 years in a wheelchair, I’ve learned the secret of being content: when I wake up and think, “Lord, I can’t go on ... I don’t have the strength,” I refuse to let my emotions go down that dark, grim path. I pray, “Jesus, I don’t have strength; but you do. I have no resources, but you do. I can’t do this, but you can.” The weaker I am, the harder I have to lean on the Lord; and the harder I lean on Him, the stronger I discover Him to be. God always seems bigger to those who need Him most.

Ken Tada assists his wife, Joni Eareckson Tada, in the ribbon-cutting ceremony at the grand opening of the Joni and Friends International Disability Center in Agoura, California. Used with permission of Joni and Friends.

Q: Using the senses that God still gives you (seeing, hearing, smelling), what are some of the things about God’s creations on this earth that always delight you?

Joni: I love anything in God's creation that swells up within my heart a sense of openness or largeness or spaciousness. It could be a vista across a Kansas wheat field, or the sight of a broad, beautiful ocean viewed from a cliff, or gazing out over the Grand Canyon. On a recent evening a thunderstorm swept through Los Angeles and left behind layer upon layer of huge, purple thunderheads — the sight left me breathless! I enjoy that sense of openness and spaciousness because it conveys how big God is, and how small I am. Sights such as these expand my imagination, reminding me not to become small-minded about my world and that it’s a lot bigger and grander than I sometimes think.

Most of all, I get inspired — really inspired — when a person with a very severe disability, maybe living in a nursing home, embraces God for the first time. That always thrills my soul and warms my heart!

Q: For you, is painting a scene on a canvas more like a writing process (more of a free-flow expression of your feelings), or it is more like an editing process (reshaping your free-flow feelings to capture and illustrate certain insights)?

Joni Eareckson Tada painting a Christmas scene. Used with permission of Joni and Friends.

Joni: When you walk into my studio, it looks like any painter's hideaway. The faint smell of turpentine, the rough sketches tacked to a corkboard, and crumpled tubes of paint and bottles of linseed oil all combine to tell you that you've entered someone's cozy creative cave. For me, painting combines careful planning, writing and editing.

Most of my time is spent planning the composition and looking at the relationships of spaces and subjects to be placed on the canvas. Once I have a pleasing composition in mind, I begin praying about and planning what colors work best together — do I want this painting to reflect a theme on color temperature, or do I want to simply represent realistically the scene as it looks in natural sunlight? Painting is 99 percent planning and inspiration, and only a few percent execution. I try not to “go over” or paint over mistakes; then it looks too re-worked.

When you were very young, is there someone who stood out to you as a Christian, just by actions, words, (besides your family and people in your church)? In what way did that person behave that it caught your attention that this person had something different in his/her life?

Joni: When I was in high school, I wanted to be like Connie Garriott. It’s not that she was hugely popular, it’s just that she always, always was reaching out to others. She was the one who would sit next to the “plain Jane” in the cafeteria. She was the one who always picked the “nobody” to be on her team in Phys Ed. Connie was the one who always had a cheery smile or asked if you wanted to come over to her house for a get-together.

Her actions spoke louder than even her wonderful words. If people are floundering in the mire of their problems, if they are infected by a spirit of complaint, or if they are (God forbid) lazy like the battle-weary believers mentioned in Hebrews, they need to be reminded that the power of God works — really works — in someone’s life, not in theory, but in reality. Connie Garriott is a powerful example of how God “works” through the actions of a believer to inspire, convict, instruct, and encourage someone else … someone like me.

Q: Your friend Jacque got into your hospital bed with you after your accident and helped you feel peace even though you didn’t have answers to “why.” How can we as Christians, help others with whom we have only a working or casual acquaintance feel peace or realize the source of peace? Is it something we do, something we say?

Joni: Jacque helped me see how God was working all things together for my good and his glory. It didn’t mean being “on my feet;” it meant being like Christ. Hardships were forcing me to make decisions about the lordship of Christ in my life. My faith was becoming muscular.

Suffering was doing a job on my character; I was able to stick to promises, not be sloppy in relationships, quit whining, and be more patient. My thoughts were being jerked right side up; I couldn’t reach for the common temptations like before (having hands that no longer worked helped with that). Suffering was making me more sensitive to others; I couldn’t have cared less about people like me before my accident, but now I found joy in investing my time and energies in other people who were hurting. Suffering was forcing me into a deeper life of prayer and study of the Bible. Being paralyzed was making heaven come alive — not in a cop-out way, but in a way that made me want to live better here on earth because greater things were coming in the next life.

All these “benefits” made being a quadriplegic more than worthwhile. I learned these things because Jacque took time to be my friend.

Q: Besides Jacque, you write in your memoir about the impact that your friend Steve Estes made in your life after your accident, and also about Diana who brought her friend, Steve, to you. Please share with our magazine’s readers how they can influence someone else’s faith and relationship with God if they allow God to work through them.

Joni: I had many questions about God when I was first injured. Thankfully, there were two Christian friends, Steve and Diana, who sat down with me on a regular basis and helped me search through God's Word to understand who he is and what he was doing in my life. Every week over RC Colas and pizza or BLT sandwiches, we diligently searched the Scriptures.

Looking back, it fascinates me that neither Steve nor Diana knew much about spinal cord injury. All they knew was that I was a kid like they were and that I was facing dire and distressing circumstances. They simply were available and willing to use their spiritual gifts and their knowledge to walk me through the Bible. The insights and answers I gleaned have lasted and sustained me for decades.

Like Jacque, Steve and Diana considered it worth their effort to invest not just hours, but many weeks and months into my life. I sometimes wonder if there is a direct correlation between the time we invest in helping someone else and the spiritual benefit accrued in their lives. Only heaven will reveal that, but I think it’s worth “presenting ourselves a living sacrifice” (Romans 12:1).

Q: Steve Estes helped you understand that your diving accident was part of God’s plan and that he permitted something he hated in order to accomplish your need of him and his plan for your life. There are so many Christians who encounter terrible tragedies and subsequently become bitter toward God. Other than praying for them … when their bitterness reaches the point of no longer praying, no longer reading the Bible, no longer going to church, no longer hanging around other Christians, how can we as Christians who are acquainted with them help to bring them back to the Lord?

Joni: You say “other than praying for them” as though that were secondary or something taken for granted or not as important as other initiatives. But for the person who has turned away from God and is falling into despair, it is earnest, committed, specific prayer that will only, and can only, soften a hardened heart. When I was despairing, there were at least a handful of committed intercessors who lifted me up before the Lord on a regular basis. And I am still feeling the repercussions of those prayers 40 years later.

Next to prayer, being there and being available is important. Just showing the love of Christ through seemingly insignificant and small ways helps keep a despairing person connected to reality: going shopping together, going to see a movie together, doing a picnic together, visiting a museum, or the mountains, or the beach; reading a book together (hopefully an inspiring one); or going to a concert. When the despairing person sees how much you, as a Christian, care, it showcases the compassionate character of Christ.

I would also tell that Christian to keep directing a person in despair to Jesus. God the Father and his sovereignty at times is a little scary; but Jesus, the Man of Sorrows acquainted with grief, is always accessible, always near, and always ready to pour out his love, comfort and consolation.

Q: In addition to prayer, how can Christians help people who are disabled or handicapped mentally or physically if they do not ask for help?

Ken and Joni Tada. Used with permission of Joni and Friends.

Joni: The whole idea behind extending the Gospel of Jesus Christ is building relationships. We observe the needs of others and think, “How can I best meet that need in the context of the Gospel? How can I demonstrate the love of Jesus Christ through meeting that person’s need?” And when it comes to “needs,” nobody has more than disabled people: transportation to church … someone to sit next to them and hold the Bible or hymnal … someone to take them to Sunday School … someone to help run an errand … assist in getting up in the morning … all kinds of needs. All the Christian needs to do is ask, “How may I help you? How can I assist in making it easier for you to come to my church?” These are practical simple ways to extend the love of Christ into the disability community.

Q: Have you ever said to other people: “You’ve got to read this book?” Besides the Bible, is there a book or a writer whose works made a real difference in your life?

Joni: Whenever my soul feels dry and calloused toward God, I read the book of Jeremiah in the Bible, and “Holiness,” by Bishop J.C. Ryle. Both Jeremiah and the writings of Ryle extol a high view of God. We Christians can’t help but be influenced by our culture of comfort, and we all try to make God a little more “manageable” in our eyes; we try to reduce him in order to somehow control him. But it doesn’t work that way. We need to remember that God sets the agenda and, only when we humble ourselves before him, do our souls become softened and tender toward the Lord.

I also enjoy reading anything that Dr. John Piper has written. I told his wife recently that I am probably the most frequent visitor to his Web site. I have ordered so many books and DVDs from his ministry. Piper once said that, “God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in him.” God only shares his gladness and joy on his terms, and some of those terms call for us to suffer in some measure as did his Son when he was on earth. I like that view of God!

Q: Is there a country or a region in the world that you have not visited and still would like to see?

Joni: One day I would love to visit the Khyber Pass, the most northerly and important of the passes between Afghanistan and Pakistan. The pass connects Kabul with Peshawar. The pass has historically been the gateway for invasions of the Indian subcontinent from the northwest. Marco Polo probably passed through this area on his way to China. Caravans carrying spices and silks traveled through this region. Alexander the Great advanced over these mountains. That whole part of the world has always intrigued me.

Also, I am fascinated by the Tibetan Plain; it’s a high, dry deserty plain on the back side of the Himalayan Mountains. The people of Tibet who live there are nomads and desert herders. I guess it’s those parts of the world that have seen the most history … that have the least access … whose terrain is rugged and spacious … these are the places I would love to see one day.

Q: Besides being married to the mate that God intended to provide you and Ken, and other than putting the Lord first in your lives, what are some keys to success in a Christian marriage?

Joni: The keys to a successful marriage are found in Philippians 2:4. Each of us should learn to look out for the interests of others before our own. That’s hard for many married people to do. I know that when I first got married, I went into it thinking, “This man, Ken Tada, will meet my needs for the rest of my life. I don’t have to worry about being taken care of!” That kind of self-focused thinking made for a very rocky first year or two of marriage to Ken.

Joni and Ken Tada on their wedding day. Used with permission of Joni and Friends.

I finally learned that my happiness and contentment in marriage could only be found through investing my time in Ken’s happiness, Ken’s contentment, Ken’s interests. This really was hard at first, but it has made for ultimate joy in our life together. I highly recommend men and women not looking at marriage as a 50/50 proposition; but a 100/100 proposition. You give your all, and in so doing, you end up finding joy and peace in that relationship. Jesus stated this principle so powerfully when he simply said, “… whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 10:39). It’s the best key to a good marriage I’ve ever found.

Q: In a marriage where one of the mates needs to continually give much to the other mate because that person is disabled, handicapped, or dealing with a life-threatening health condition, and where opportunities for some types of activities are constrained, what can the couple do to enrich their relationship?

Joni: Ken is the most amazing man. We have been married for more than 25 years. And if you were to ask him about our closeness in marriage, he would probably point to a time a year or so ago when he had to sleep on a cot next to my bed in a hospital because I had pneumonia.

Of that ten-day experience, he once wrote, “I never felt closer to her than when I was wiping her nose or adjusting her breathing mask. You would think that a feeling of togetherness would occur over a candlelight dinner or a romantic vacation. But isn’t it just like God to strengthen our unity, deepen our commitment, and breathe fresh romance into our marriage through, well ... fighting pneumonia in a hospital? Fresh romance is not doing something new and different in bed. It's what happens when a husband shares his wife's burden, or vice-versa. And it beats a candlelight dinner any day.” I think those words from my husband Ken are absolutely amazing!

What do we enjoy doing together? Cooking, planning menus, traveling to foreign countries, watching NCAA football games and USC beat anybody on the slate, playing chess, watching movies, picnics … lots of things. We also enjoy reading the Bible together every night; we are going “through the Bible” in a year, and it’s so wonderful to cultivate that discipline.

Q: Is there anything about God’s working in your life these days that still surprises you after your many years as a believer?

Joni: I'm amazed at how many “hidden sins” the Holy Spirit keeps finding as he scrutinizes my life and brings these “small disobediences” to the surface. Hardship and heartache tend to reveal the stuff of which we are made. When your expectations go unmet, the chores and bills seem endless, when you constantly struggle to hold life together by your fingers and toes, the real “you” gets exposed, whether it’s bitterness, a peevish spirit, small-minded selfishness, or just plain nastiness.

When these things are revealed, we are better able to not only face the truth about ourselves, but confess these sins before God. So suffering becomes an ally in our walk with the Lord. Hebrews 12:15 explains how important it is to grab hold of God's grace when we suffer hardship: “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Who wants to be a bitter, old nag? I certainly don’t. I am so grateful that even after many decades of being a Christian, I haven’t arrived. I’ve got a long way to go, and God is still changing me.

I am also surprised that God has put me at the head of the Joni and Friends International Disability Center. Through the International Disability Center located in Agoura in southern California, my team and I network with an ever-growing group of disability ministry leaders spread across the globe.

Through regional global meetings and the Internet, I am able to track those critical issues that impact families affected by disability worldwide. We want to equip Christian leaders around the world to reach for Christ the growing population of persons with disabilities worldwide. Never would I have dreamed that God would have me leading such a wonderful movement among people with disabilities and churches around the globe. I'm amazed!

Q:1 Thessalonians 5:18 says to “Give thanks in all circumstances.” I assume that because you have walked closely with the Lord in many trials and seen Him work in mighty ways to provide all that you need in helping you get through circumstances, you are able to thank Him for those times. But have you reached the point of being able to give thanks for all circumstances … even pain? If so, is this attitude of thankfulness now an ingrained part of you, or do you still need to remind yourself in troubling circumstances to give thanks?

Joni: Years ago when I was in the hospital, I cultivated the discipline of giving thanks to God in all my circumstances. It was hard at first; but after many months of giving thanks to God from my bed, in my wheelchair, at occupational and physical therapy, and waiting on a gurney outside a urology lab, I began to honestly feel thankful. The discipline of gratitude has seen me through many a tough, painful circumstance of quadriplegia over 40 years.

Recently, though, I was discussing the subject of gratitude with a friend who had broken her ankle. For her, being on crutches wasn’t fun. There were many appointments and travel plans she had to cancel. “I can accept a verse like 1 Thessalonians 5:18, ‘Give thanks in all circumstances ...’” she said, “but I don’t think I could give thanks for this clunky thing.” Something about her comment troubled me.

Joni Eareckson Tada in her new TV series on suffering. Used with permission of Joni and Friends.

We segregate God from the suffering he allows, as though a broken ankle merely “happens” and God shows up after the fact. We don’t thank God for the problem, just for finding him in it. But the Bible makes clear that God is sovereign over all our afflictions. The apostle Paul, who endured his share of tragedies, never considered his circumstances as tragic. In Ephesians 5:19-20, he says we should be, “always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

I give God thanks for my quadriplegia. It has become the strange friend that helps me know Jesus better. It is the shadowy companion that walks with me daily, pulling and pushing me into the arms of the Savior where I find grace and comfort.

“Your affliction falls well within the overarching decrees of God. It comes from his wise and kind hand and for that, you can give thanks. In it and for it.” This is the message we seek to instill within the hearts of thousands of disabled people whom we serve through the Joni and Friends International Disability Center. And if it “suffices” for a quadriplegic in a wheelchair, then the principle of giving thanks in and for things can help anybody.

Q: Is there anything else you would like to share with our readers to help them understand how they, as Christians, can influence someone else’s life and help that person draw closer to God?

Joni: I want you to know that my heart resonates with honest and hard questions regarding the goodness of God and the problem of so much evil in this sad, dark world. When I was first injured, facing a life of complete paralysis, I wondered how God could really be loving and allow my suffering. We don’t deserve all this pain and affliction; it’s not fair!

But the Bible paints a sobering picture: "There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one" (Romans 3:10-12). I didn't say that; the Bible did. It also says that people — all of us — cannot even begin to comprehend how our sin has offended God who is holy. In fact, the Bible states that God is just to send rebellious creatures to hell; thus, as incomprehensible as it sounds, he is fair to start that hell in this life.

But please wait; there is a hidden mercy here! By tasting suffering in this life — hell’s splash-over — people are driven to ponder what may face them in the next life. In this way, suffering may be our greatest mercy; in fact, for many, suffering becomes God's roadblock on their headlong rush to hell. If people experienced lives of ease and comfort, we would soon forget that we are eternal creatures; but suffering simply won't allow that. It persistently reminds us that something immense and cosmic is at stake — a heaven to be reached for Christ's sake, and a hell to be avoided.

Every day of people's short lives has eternal consequences for good or ill. Thus, it is only fitting that a merciful and wise God should give us some sense of the stakes involved, some sense of the magnitude of the spiritual battle. He does this by giving us foretastes of heaven in the joys we experience, and foretastes of hell in our suffering.

If God were to get rid of suffering, if he would have closed the curtain on it back when Jesus sacrificed his life on the cross to rescue us; he would have to get rid of sinners. After all, suffering is merely one of the consequences of original sin; but may it never be! God doesn't want people to perish (2 Peter 3:9). He is full of mercy and is delaying in closing the curtain on sin and suffering so that more people — millions more over the last 2,000 years — might come to know Christ (God in the flesh who paid the ultimate penalty on our behalf; what grace!).

And I promise you, the Bible promises you, that five minutes of heaven will be worth it all. It will be worth all the pain. Until then, our sufferings should drive us to reach out toward unbelieving friends and neighbors with the good news that God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever should believe on Him should not perish, but have eternal life (John 3:16).

Joni's new television series airs Friday evenings at 7 p.m. (Eastern) on the NRB channel on DirecTV. This half-hour of television takes a refreshingly honest approach to the hard questions about God's goodness in a world filled with pain and suffering. Through powerful glimpses into the lives of real people who have endured or are still enduring heart-wrenching trials, Joni introduces viewers to guests who are putting Scripture to the toughest of tests and revealing why God is worth believing and how we can trust him in the worst of times. Each of the 26 shows is also available in DVD at http://www.joniandfriendstv.org Her books, prints, cards, and music are available at http://www.joniandfriends.org/store.php.