t can be the best day of the year or the worst, the most romantic or the most agonizing. The day when you feel overwhelmed with love or the day when you are most acutely aware of your singleness. Say it with me now - Valentine's Day!

Those who are single and not in a relationship often cringe at the very thought of this gushy, 24-hour display of affection because of what it brings ... and what it doesn't. Valentine's Day, sometimes referred to as "Singles Awareness Day" (SAD), has the potential to bring to singles heartbreak, bitterness and depression because, as we look around us to see other women so happy in love - with gorgeous rose bouquets and Godiva boxes displayed proudly upon their desks at work - we can't help but wonder: "Why not me?"

What Valentine's Day often does not bring to us single gals are those little tangible reminders that someone loves us - flowers, candy, singing telegrams, etc. But just because a woman doesn't get sent on a romantic scavenger hunt by a secret admirer, that doesn't mean that her life is void of love. Most importantly, she is loved and highly valued by her Creator.

Additionally, she probably has many people in her life who love her and whom she loves. Just because Valentine's Day is generally accepted as a holiday for celebrating romantic love, that doesn't mean that celebrating other types of affection is off limits.

Valentine's Day can be a day of love and celebration even for those of us without a significant other. We just have to step back and re-focus our thoughts. Think about it. When you're focused on someone else, whether it's volunteering at a soup kitchen, building a house with Habitat for Humanity or helping a friend move, are you concerned or distraught over the fact that you don't have a boyfriend? If you're like me, the answer is "probably not." It's when you're sitting in your PJ's watching "Love Actually" with your friends Ben and Jerry that the sadness and self-loathing start to creep in.

So if you find yourself single this Valentine's Day, take that time to express and celebrate the love you have for your friends and family. Here are just a few ideas on how to make this the best Valentine's Day you never thought you could have without a boyfriend or a husband. Of course, even if you are half of a couple, you can still participate:

• Make cards for all your friends, including encouraging notes and candy.
• Host a "Secret Valentine" (like Secret Santa) gift exchange wherein Secret Valentines anonymously send gifts to each other throughout the week leading up to the day. Then get everyone together for a Valentine's Day Secret Valentine dinner party where all the Secret Valentines reveal their true identities.
• Work it out with your friends so that you take turns delivering "singing telegrams" to each other throughout the week of Valentine's Day. Sing songs like "That's What Friends Are For" and "Ain't No Mountain High Enough," or make up silly songs that include your friends' names.
• Do a volunteer project with friends.
• Send flowers with a note that reads simply, "From someone who loves you."

Bottom line: It's hard to feel sorry for yourself when you're thinking about others, so focus your energy and thoughts outward. Express your gratitude for having all your wonderful friends in your life.

And speak the truth of God to each other - the Gospel story of how the God who is love, who doesn't need us or our love because he embodies it more fully than we can imagine, found us worthy to receive that love in the form of his Son, who sacrificed himself to reconcile us to God. If that's not true love, I just don't know what is.

If you aren't single this year, try to remember what it's like, and do something nice for someone lonely. Visit someone who can't get out or who has no family. Give cards to more than just your special someone.

Don't pity your single friends, and don't try to do that thing where you only talk about your Valentine's plans with your other dating/married friends in an effort to spare the feelings of your single friends. They want to be happy for you and share in your joy too. You can show off your flowers and enjoy your chocolates. You can still have your candle-lit dinner and Lionel Richie-inspired living room slow dance. Just don't get so wrapped up in it that you forget about others entirely.

Focus your thoughts and energy outward as well, and celebrate the love of the Almighty God of the universe by sharing it.