o kids, love is spelled T-I-M-E,” says Christian author Cheri Fuller, whether those valuable moments are spent together in person or by long distance through telephone calls and instant messaging.

In her newest of 40 books she has authored, “Connect with Your Grandkids: Fun Ways to Bridge the Miles” (Focus on the Family Publishing/Tyndale House Publishers, April 2009), Fuller offers ideas for making a treasured connection with grandchildren, no matter where they live. She explains, “Connecting with your grandkids is all about building a relationship with them, a heart connection. Neither parents nor grandparents can teach and influence children without a good, strong, loving connection.”

Front cover of Cheri Fuller's book, "Connect with your Grandkids"

If you've ever watched your grown children move out of town, you know how difficult it is to say goodbye. As a grandparent, the loss doubles as you tearfully wave goodbye to your children's children. Fuller, grandmother of six, knows how it feels to be apart from her grandchildren. Two of them live in another state, two lived out of town for nearly four years and two live nearby. Despite physical distance and busy lives, Fuller maintains a loving connection with each of her grandchildren and encourages other grandparents as they seek to do the same.

While growing up, she saw her grandmother once a year, so she and her out-of-town grandma wrote letters to each other. These letters taught the young girl at least two very special things: that her grandmother cared about her and that her writing was important. 

A legacy of love and faith

Cheri Fuller's grandkids with their "Nandy" and "Poppa." Front row: Caitlin; second row: Holmes, Noah, Josephine, Lucy (on Cheri's lap), Luke; behind couch: Caleb.

When speaking with Fuller, it quickly becomes apparent that she loves children, having worked with them for more than 30 years as a schoolteacher and at church. As a grandparent, she finds her grandchildren delightful and each one unique.

“You love your kids, but you're crazy about your grandkids,” she says. “In some ways grandparenting is more fun than parenting. It has some other dimensions to it.”

For most grandparents, those other dimensions include participating in their grandchildren's lives, simply enjoying them in what she calls a “gracious gift of God in this season of our lives” without having to be the disciplinarian and “be everything” for the children. Grandparenting also provides the opportunity to guide and influence grandchildren, passing on valued beliefs and interests.

Sharing Christian principles with grandchildren leaves a legacy of faith such as that left by Timothy's grandmother, Lois, mentioned in 2 Timothy 1:5. Fuller says, “Most Christian grandparents want to pass on a heritage of love and faith.”

One contributor to Fuller’s book shared how prayer makes a difference in her grandchildren's lives. She keeps a little flip book with photos of each of her grandchildren. Each photo has a label with a day of the week designated as that particular child's day to be prayed over. The grandchildren see their photos in the little book and know which day is their special day. Fuller explains the children benefit from this demonstration of prayer. “Praying for our grandchildren is one of the biggest influences because our prayers are going to outlive our lives. They touch this generation and the next generation and the next.”

Prayer, in fact, is a primary focus of several of Fuller’s books such as “Loving Your Spouse through Prayer,” “A Busy Woman’s Guide to Prayer,” “When Children Pray,” and “The One Year Book of Praying through the Bible” (www.cherifuller.com). 

Grandparenting also provides an opportunity to pass on special interests and hobbies. Gardening, one of Fuller's favorite pastimes, allows her to spend time with her grandchildren and makes them feel important as they contribute to her perennial garden. “I keep a little gardening bag with kids' tools and seeds and I designate a section of the garden for each of them. They can plant seeds and water and care for the plants. And for those who live out of town, I take pictures to send them.”

She also hopes to pass on her love for reading and writing. As a former English teacher, she shares her love for the written word in a variety of ways including sending new books to her grandchildren and playing word games with them.

Being supportive

Left to right: Noah, Cheri, Caitlin, Caleb, Luke.

While passing on beliefs and interests is important in making a difference in a grandchild's life, grandparents can also connect with their grandchildren in a supportive role. “Today's kids really need extra love and support because life is so stressful,” Fuller says. “They have a lot of pressure on them, and we can add extra love, support and encouragement.”

Sometimes just showing up is a means of support. Fuller fondly recalls the time she and her husband flew to St. Louis just to attend their granddaughter's Grandparent Tea. But smaller efforts can also show grandchildren that their interests matter. For instance, she describes how she shared in her grandson's love for sports cards by putting together a special card collection album for him. Efforts like these, participating in your grandchildren's interests, help build a bond with your grandchildren. You demonstrate to your grandchildren that you love them and that their interests matter.

You can show support simply by making the most of ordinary moments – even those spent waiting in a restaurant – to enjoy each other. While waiting for the food to arrive, instead of using the time to tell children to sit still, sit up straight, keep your elbows off the table, etc., you can use this time to play one-on-one games such as tic-tac-toe, which provide fun moments together.

One of Fuller's goals is to take each of her grandchildren on a special trip when they turn double digits in age. She recently took her 10-year-old granddaughter to Washington, D.C., where the two of them spent five fun-filled days together.

Connecting with your grandkids, making a difference in their lives, is about intentionally developing and maintaining a relationship with them, whether they live two or two thousand miles away. For Fuller, it means asking God, “Lord, make me a blessing to my grandchildren. Give me creative ways to keep in touch with these precious little grandchildren I love.” She presents many of these ideas in her book. It’s chock full of fun, easy-to-do ideas for grandparents looking to connect with their grandchildren in meaningful, loving relationships.

Cheri Fuller and her grandchildren. Front row, left to right: Luke, Lucy (on Cheri's lap), Noah, Josephine; back row: Caleb, Caitlin.