e had just purchased a new home, a new truck, and found out we were having our fourth child when my husband announced that he was offered the position he always wanted, to become a teacher and head coach at a local Christian school,” recalls Jonita King. She says her husband Zack has a deep passion to influence the lives of teenagers and she knew he would be a wonderful minister to this age group. But she admits she wasn’t “overjoyed that God opened that door for him.”

She wanted to be supportive of her husband, but she says her mind was filled with worries about the loss of income – nearly $500 a month – when they desperately needed the income. Besides the mortgage, two vehicle payments, another child on the way and one in high school who would soon be going to college, and an ever-rising electric bill and other expenses, her husband’s news came at the same time as news of the economy spiraling downward into a possible recession.

“When I’d try to talk with Zack about the loss of the income, he would just say, ‘This is my calling; God will take care of us,’” says Jonita.

“I had to turn to the Lord,” she says. “I had to look at what the Lord says about this issue in his Word.” By asking the Lord what she should do, she found that her husband’s calling was also part of her calling.

What does the Bible say about this issue?

1) Supporting your spouse is a biblical principle. Supporting your husband or wife means submitting to your spouse and what the Lord is calling him or her to do. “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22) “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ….” (Ephesians 5:25) Submitting to your spouse does not mean being a “slave;” it means committing to the consideration or judgment of another. Marriage is, a commitment not only to your spouse but also to God. Love your partner like Christ loves us.

The Lord also tells us that we should follow him when he calls us to a ministry, regardless of what the outcome may look like to us in the present. “Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him ….” (1 Corinthians 7:17).

2) Supporting your spouse in God’s calling shows devotion to both your spouse and the Lord. Husbands and wives should be devoted to each other as well as to God. I Chronicles 22:19 says, “Now devote your heart and soul to seeking the Lord your God.”

It is also easy to forget that when you are married, you are one with your spouse. When you married, you made a covenant before God that your first ministry responsibility is your family; you are called to be a helpmate to your partner and thus to support his or her ministry.

Ways to show your support

Because answering God’s call isn’t always easy, especially if it means a career change that may take a financial toll on the family, here are a few ways a spouse can show support.

1) Pray for your spouse. Of course, prayer is the most powerful tool in overcoming any obstacle, especially the trials that God’s calling may bring to you and your family. Pray that God will give you both strength, and that he will provide for your family.

2) Offer words of encouragement. Many times, words of affirmation may go a long way with your spouse. Your wife may feel nervous about entering a new ministry, so telling her she is doing a great job will lift her spirits. Giving your husband a few words of encouragement before he goes off to his new endeavor will help him get through the fact that he is forcing family sacrifices. Tell him you are happy he is following his calling. And putting a smile on your face may work wonders. Be realistic, though – do not exaggerate your affirmations, but let your mate know that you are truly supportive of the decision to answer God’s call.

3) Lend a helping hand. Although words of encouragement are helpful to your spouse, getting involved in the ministry with your partner is a great way to show support. Offer constructive criticism when necessary and offer to help when needed. Remember, you are one, so you are both are in this together. However, this doesn’t mean solving a problem for your spouse. Jonita explains, “When Zack first started teaching, he was out of his element. He said he wanted me to give him advice, but he said he didn’t want me to ‘do it for him,’ like typing his class work for him. He had to gently remind me that he needed my guidance but that this was his time to learn how to do this stuff.”

4) Be willing to make sacrifices. Be tolerant of the possible change in lifestyle God’s calling initiates. Your wife may be away from home a little more, so try helping with the chores or taking care of the children. When the frustrations come, discuss them, but do so in a loving spirit. “I knew Zack would be spending more time away from our family during his coaching season,” states Jonita, “so I had to learn to deal with it.”

Your spouse’s calling is your calling as well. Remember that you are in God’s will. Continue to seek him and pray that he will give you strength to endure all the challenges his calling will bring.