ark and Rita had been dating online for several weeks when they decided they were ready to meet in person, so they selected a day and time for their first meeting. Since Mark lived in a neighboring state, they chose a well-known, 24-hour restaurant with convenient access from the interstate.

Rita remembers that she arrived at the restaurant early and parked where she could see the cars as they entered the parking lot. Earlier, Mark had described his car so she would be able to recognize it when he got there. While she waited for him to arrive, she checked her makeup and hair in the car mirror one more time. She wore a new outfit for the occasion and felt confident in her appearance. Giving a quick touchup to her lipstick, she breathed a quick prayer that all would go well with this first date. Rita was excited at the possibility that Mark could turn out to be the soul mate she’d been looking for.

Fifteen minutes later, Mark pulled in and found a parking place near the restaurant entrance. Rita spotted his car as soon as he drove in. She got out of her car immediately and began walking briskly in his direction, her head held high and her shoulders back. Rita remembers how the feeling of excitement and anticipation helped overcome her usual shyness.

She watched as Mark walked toward her, and she noticed how nicely he was dressed. Though she had never seen his photograph, she could tell his description of himself in their phone conversations was accurate. She thought his blond hair and medium build made him appear quite attractive, and she was pleased. As soon as they were within speaking distance, Rita extended her hand and smiled broadly. “Hello! I’m Rita. It’s so good to meet you.”

After he greeted her in return, there was a moment of awkward silence. In their online chats and phone calls she had always found him very talkative, so she wasn’t expecting his uncharacteristic quietness. Rita saw on his face an expression of confusion.

She tried to start a conversation by asking how his trip had gone and whether he had any trouble finding the restaurant. He commented briefly, then was quiet again. Rita glanced over at Mark and caught a look of slight disappointment in his eyes. “Your hair is shorter than I’d expected,” Mark said slowly. Suddenly she realized what the problem was. When she smiled and said, “Yeah, I cut it shorter for the summer,” she hoped her comment would move them beyond the uncomfortable silence. But it didn’t. There was only awkward silence again.

Rita remembers the puzzled look on his face when he next spoke as he opened the restaurant door for her. Cocking his head to the side and raising his eyebrows, Mark asked the question she’d been dreading to hear. “So how old is your photo?” Recalling that moment today, Rita still experiences her embarrassment all over again.

The date ended quickly, Rita states. So did the relationship.

While driving home afterward, Rita thought about the photo she had used on the dating website – the one sent to all her matches. The photo was actually more than 12 years old! She made the effort to laugh at herself to think she had actually tried to pass off the photo as a true likeness of herself today. In her eagerness to appear as young and attractive as possible to potential suitors, Rita went beyond just trying to make a good impression to outright misrepresentation of her true appearance.

The importance of being yourself

An important aspect of online dating is providing a current, realistic photo. Though physical appearance isn’t a good basis for building a lasting relationship, it is definitely a big factor in the initial attraction to each other. However, singles who hide behind an out-of-date or overly glamorous photograph pretend to be someone they’re not.

Singles who hide behind an out-of-date or overly glamorous photograph  pretend to be someone they’re not.

The Bible makes it clear that Christians are to be honest and that deception should have no place in the life and relationships of a believer. In fact, Proverbs 14:8 warns, “The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception.”

Don’t be foolish when it comes to dating. Ultimately, displaying a deceptive photo on a dating site can be more than an embarrassment and can only lead to hurt, disappointment and even rejection.