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o you feel better now? No? Well that's not surprising. After all, an apology usually goes hand-in-hand after someone has offended us. An apology without an offense is like a jail sentence without a crime.
We've all heard apologies at one time or another. Legendary regrets uttered by famous athletes, movie stars, or politicians as they slumped to podiums and broadcasted their admission of errors might snap to mind.
Apart from the ongoing microphones, popping flash bulbs and media analysis of famous apologies, we tend to hear most regrets at the personal level after someone offends us. Though these regrets may lack the luster of a blockbuster, public confession, they hold greater power to change our relationships ... if the apologies are real.
Though hearing "I'm sorry" can help us begin to heal from a wrong committed against us, "seeing" an apology has greater impact when it comes to restoring relationships.
Let's face the facts. There are a lot of things masquerading as the real deal out there. From avatars to zirconiums, our lives get inundated with hype. When it comes to authentic apologies, how do we know we're getting the real deal? Or better yet, how do we know we are giving the real deal?
Telling the difference between a begrudging, gritted-tooth, forced-out apology and one that evokes the hope needed to strengthen a relationship means watching the proof boil down to one word: repentance.
Summarized, true repentance means a turning of the heart and will to God. But what does turning over the heart and will look like? It starts with fear. Proverbs 1:7 states, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline."
Wisdom and discipline are definitely in our reach as Christians. James 3:17 points out, "But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere." 2 Timothy 1:7 adds, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."
We get further help when good fruit is described in James 5:22 as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness.
As seen in the Scriptures, turning to God will look ... well ... godly. Be careful, though. It's easy to want to look at an offender of our soul and pinpoint the person's inability to repent, whether he apologized or not.
A better exercise would allow for us to take a good look at those we hae offended and make sure they are witnessing our demonstration of seeking wisdom, discipline and bearing out actions in line with God's nature.
In doing so, we can see the best healing comes from the reminder of God's forgiveness that he showed us by sending his Son, Jesus Christ, to defeat sin and give us eternal life.
Now that's something we could never be sorry about. |
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