 |
 |
| |
|
 |
 |
| P |
rimarily due to changes within the American society over the past 50-plus years, the structure of family relationships has somewhat mutated for easier adaptation to much broader circumstances. The increase in divorce and remarriages has made "blended families" as common a reality as automobiles on the streets, and single-parent homes no longer any particular anomaly. These changes combined with various others, have begun to erode and obscure the traditional mechanics of relationships within the family.
Relational skills, once considered automatic, are increasingly being forgotten, falling victim to domestic disorientation and a peculiar reliance upon frail genetic allegiance.
There's no man-made formula for building ideal family relationships because the situations are as vast and diverse as the stars in the sky. However, there are proven important "ties that bind," offered here for your consideration.
1. Maintain a strong foundation
The Word of God (the Bible) tells us that, "Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain." (Psalms 127:1a) God gave men the biblical responsibility to be the spiritual leaders in their homes (Ephesians 5:22-23) and set wives to be the "helpmates," advisors and partners to their husbands. God therefore expects the husband-and-wife team to establish their home in submission to him. They are to work together to sanctify their home, train up their children in the ways of the Lord (Proverbs 22:6) and serve as living examples of piety for the children to emulate.
It is up to parents to exemplify spiritual quality for their children and to show that Christian living is more than mere church attendance and weekly ritual. God expects them to lead by example, showing all others the active results of the "fruit of the Spirit" (Galatians 5:22-23) alive and at work in their daily lives.
The words of Psalm 127:1 are clear: the home must have its foundation in God and be built up by his presence therein. Without devotion to God, relationships within the family unit become highly susceptible to the stresses and emotions of conflicting personalities. If a family is not founded in God's teachings and faith in Jesus Christ, it becomes little more than a house of straw set against the high winds of life.
2. Invest time
| Family relationships wither due to negligence resulting from self-centered actions. |
In the past, the immediate family customarily enjoyed the greatest of all bonding agents, that of proximity. People living under the same roof were constantly sharing and experiencing daily situations, interacting on every level. Now, with families becoming increasingly split through actions of divorce and separation, loyalties are confused and authority divided, leading to a loss of family cohesiveness.
Any time segments of a family become fractionalized, through intentional alienation or reclusive choice, individual relationships begin to dry up, falling away like the leaves of autumn. It is not enough to merely hold kinship with another, because without the interaction of mutual experiences and shared time, that family membership simply grows cold and impersonal, usually deteriorating to little more than a nodding acquaintance.
All relationships require a certain amount of effort. Just like time with God is essential to strengthening a relationship with him, individuals must constantly seize every opportunity to build memories and share experiences with all members of their families in order to "firm up" and broaden those relationships.
|
|
| |
|
|
|
The following list highlights just a few of the more common, yet too often overlooked, opportunities to invest in the lives of loved ones:
- Grandparents being babysitters
- Family gatherings
- Shared meals
- Camping and fishing trips
- Hiking together
- Attending birthday parties
- Worshipping together
- Telephone conversations
- Impromptu visits
- Laboring together
- Playing games together
- Parents and children play nights
|
|
| |
|
|
|
3. Show interest
In any relationship, one of the more powerful bonding agents is that of shared concern. People feeling harmonious about goals, visions and accomplishments are able to connect on a greater emotional level. That connection establishes a trust in that specific area of concern, paving the way for a future expansion in the relationship.
It is vitally important that individuals let family members know that they are on the same page on agreed issues. Love is the motivator that drives people to share interest in others' lives, viewpoints, activities, successes and heartbreaks. Some of the main ways of showing interest in others are:
- Attending competitive events involving family members
- Celebrating the academic achievements of others
- Attending weddings
- Extending congratulations
- Sending cards
- Maintaining proximity (closeness)
- Affirming the worth and importance of another
4. Express concern
Jesus told us in John 16:33 that we would have trouble in this world, but reassured us that through him, we can overcome all such difficulty (Philippians 4:13).
Christians represent the physical person of Jesus on earth; his Holy Spirit speaks and ministers through every believer (Ephesians 2:10). Every human being experiences suffering, loss, disappointment, grief and all manner of trials. God expects his children to reach out to family and all others, manifesting his presence and demonstrating love (John 13:34). Some of the many ways people can show concern to family and others are:
- Check on the well-being of another
- Assist parents and grandparents
- Minister to the sick and injured
- Take meals to shut-ins
- Offer comfort and consolation
- Provide transportation to church services
- Make hospital visits
5. Extend appreciation
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Every member in a family needs to be viewed as a beneficial piece in the family mosaic, allowed to help in the communal role and to experience the satisfaction of worth. All family members need to realize their potential as a contributor, be heralded in their efforts and receive due praise for their accomplishments.
Appreciation must be shown within the family unit, as it is much too seldom experienced outside of that environment. Family is the place for strengthening character and teaching consideration. Acts of appreciation confirm a person's self-worth, develop consideration and strengthen the bonds of love. Some of the expressions of appreciation include:
- Cards and expressions of thanks
- Personal affirmation of importance
- Giving gifts
- Hugs
- Compliments
- Acknowledgment of effort expended
- Praise for successful achievements
In addition, family members should never be kept at a distance, ignored or exiled, for family is the very nucleus of forgiveness and reconciliation, the nurturing ground and safe haven for social development. A close family doesn't just happen. It takes unselfish acts of love in order to flourish.
Back
